Iraq, Our New Saudi Arabia

Oh the fuss that has been made over the Democrats' various war funding bills that include timetables for troop withdrawal in Iraq. On May first, using only his second veto since taking office in 2000, Bush deep-sixed a bill with a set deadline for bringing our soldiers home claiming;

"I believe setting a deadline for withdrawal would demoralize the Iraqi people, would encourage killers across the broader Middle East and send a signal that America will not keep its commitments. "

Well of course he would say that, after all, Bush wants our soldiers stationed there for another FIFTY YEARS.

Setting aside the awful ironies and hypocrisies in that statement, let's take a closer look at the situation. It doesn't matter who the president is; Bush, McCain, Clinton, Obama or Al Gore. It doesn't matter what Iraq itself wants. Yeah, they can pass legislation blocking the occupation phase of our war, but our troops are still going to be there.

It doesn't matter because the US is not going to leave Iraq. Here are the top 6 reasons why:

1. The people who pay taxes in the United States have agreed to spend at least one billion of that money building a fabulous new Embassy in the Green Zone (pardon, I mean the International Zone.)
Here's how it looks now. Nice, eh? I hope you like it for it will cost $1.2 billion a year to operate.

Oooh, here's some pictures you're not supposed to see.

My favorite thing about the US Embassy in Baghdad is what Senator Patrick Leahy (D-VT) had to say about it;

Now, having said over and over again that we don’t want to be seen as an occupying force in Iraq, we’re building the largest embassy that we have — probably the largest in the world — in Baghdad. And it just seems to grow and grow and grow. … We agree that we should focus our aid locally not in Baghdad, but we have 1,000 Americans at the embassy in Baghdad. You add the contractors and the local staff it comes to 4,000.

I know our government likes to burn money like we like to drop phosphorous bombs on noncombatants, but I doubt we will just drop $2+ billion and just leave it for the insurgents to piss on.

2. Fourteen permanent bases being built in Iraq. The Bush Administration calls them "Enduring Bases," as in Enduring our Freedom, perhaps?

With Halliburton engaged to build and maintain these bases, you know a change in leadership is not going to be enough for the US to leave them, especially since work from Halliburton doesn't come cheap.

But we should probably keep that a secret from the people in our military. If Halliburton runs the bases like they ran the bases we're going to need some big tablets of chlorine.

3. Now that the Bush Administration has caved to the demands of Osama bin Laden and withdrawn our soldiers from Saudi Arabia, we need to base them somewhere in the vicinity.

It's alright, its not like our soldiers were any safer in Saudi Arabia.

4. Leaving Saudi Arabia for Iraq should be viewed as a step up. At least, tactically. Saudi Arabia only borders the 'safe'* ** Arab nations. Iraq bumps against Iran, Syria, Turkey, Jordan and ... Saudi Arabia, which is no longer safe for Americans.

All we can hope for is that the terrorists don't demand we leave Iraq, at least not while Bush is in office, because he tends to give in to these demands (see #3). The next attack on the US might then be made of up actual Iraqis and, in the words of Dick Cheney, "not a matter of if, but when."

5. I can't leave out oil. Whether you think we are there to take it or to keep it off the market, oil is the lifeblood for Iraq. And I think Iraqis know how American's feel about spilling their blood. What do we call it? Oh yes, collateral damage. Would any Citi offshoot give you a loan without collateral? Of course not. Just as our government would not wage a $432 BILLION dollar war without some good collateral. It might not make your gas any cheaper, but it will definitely ease the heartache for some of this country's ailing corporations.

6. Suppose the impossible does happen. Suppose the next president actually finds their humanity and withdraws our troops. We're gone, right? Just kidding! Thanks to Blackwater, Custer Battles, Dyncorp and many other "private security" firms, soldiers who stop volunteering for service can now enjoy the same type of job they trained for and at triple the salary. Can I get a BOOYAH please?

So take the timetable off the table when deciding your future vote. Because no matter how loud a candidate is about withdrawing our troops, there's no way that will happen.

*If you click on this link it's #9
**Saudi Arabia does not border Pakistan. Just so we're clear on that.

~Lila Schow
Because Responsible Citizens Clean Up After Their Government

http://goodusgov.org/